It takes a special kind of crazy to be a successful head coach in college football, doubly so if you want to survive in a conference like the SEC, where “it just means more.”
Nice guys and well-adjusted dudes get chewed up and spit out annually in the Southeastern Conference, and only true football psychopaths will make it very far in this league.
Take Kirby Smart, for example.
Any man who can rock a bowl cut and a visor and not look like a complete buffoon is clearly not a normal human being, and if you’ve heard any of his leaked halftime speeches from the locker room, you know exactly what I mean.
GEORGIA’S KIRBY SMART TAKES SWIPE AT JOHNNY MANZIEL: ‘CHAMPION OF FIREBALL’
I’m not sure if new Florida head coach Jon Sumrall will be in Gainesville for a long time or not, but he absolutely has the kind of psychotic temperament you need to succeed in the SEC.
You may recall his choice in strength coach, a dumbbell-chomping, forehead-bleeding maniac by the name of Rusty Witt, or the fact that he postponed his anniversary trip to get a few more hours of watching film under his belt, but in a recent interview with a local Jacksonville news station, Sumrall peeled back the curtain to reveal just how unhinged he really is.
We all heard the same thing, right?
Did he just say that he was going to commit acts of self-harm if the Gators didn’t make it to a bowl game this season?
Dear Lord, he’s just like the rest of us!
Sumrall sounds like literally every unhinged Gator fan on X for the last decade and a half.
If I had a dollar for every time a fan threatened to stalk a ref to his car or used the bleach pouring GIF, I’d be able to fund the Gators’ NIL budget myself.
ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON’T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!
I know it sounds stupid, but Sumrall talking like a random fan they just happened to hand a headset will go far in endearing himself to Gator Nation.
Florida fans are tired of listening to coach speak and pleas for patience, so if the alternative is “I’ll hurl myself off of Ben Hill Griffin Stadium if we don’t go 7-5,” then you can sign me and the rest of the Rowdy Reptiles up.
A coach that talks like his fans instead of talking down to them is refreshing, and that might buy Sumrall a little extra goodwill should he stumble out of the starting gate.
Then again, it sounds like if he doesn’t meet expectations in year one, the only person Sumrall will have to worry about is himself.
