Let’s get Monday Screencaps rolling by me saying thank you to the dozens and dozens of you who tagged me, or emailed, the video floating around of the Pizza Hut guy who is trying to bring back Pizza Hut Classics as the norm for the brand.
Look, I’m not going to say Screencaps is why CBS News did that segment. What I will take credit for is being very early on the Pizza Hut Classic train. It feels like we were talking about the Classics back in 2022. Then, last year, my family had its first Classic experience in Charlevoix, Michigan. We were not disappointed.
This column is all about looking at the absurdities of the times we live in and asking how we can make things better. I’m not talking about halting the evolution of the world we live in. I’m asking for meth addicts to be eliminated from Wendy’s. That’s not a big ask. I’m asking for Pizza Huts to be fun atmospheres where Book-it kids can go get a personal pizza and eat under a Tiffany lamp. I’m asking for Pizza Hut to bring back a jukebox or some other way to play music.
I’m asking for some sanity in this world that we live in. I’m asking for Bud Light to bring back the Bud poster models and the Bud Bowl. These are small asks.
• We have to address Gracie Hunt’s big content weekend where the Chiefs heiress announced she has signed 14 BRIDESMAIDS TO HER WEDDING PARTY. That is not a misprint. 14!!!!! I get it, her dad is a billionaire and her family has f-you money in perpetuity thanks to Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce. I’m just wondering how many bridesmaids are too many bridesmaids.
MLB teams are limited to 13 pitchers on their rosters. Gracie Hunt and her fiancé, Trent Green’s son, are going to have a wedding party bigger than an entire active MLB roster.
Ladies, tell me more about this bridesmaid world. If you’re rich, do you feel obligated to have more bridesmaids?
• Moving along to another topic on my mind this weekend: Why doesn’t U-Haul require its rental trucks to be filled up upon returning the truck? Is there some sort of algorithm at play here where if the truck is on half-full, someone will overfill the truck and U-Haul will get some sort of financial advantage?
It feels like some suit ran the algorithmic numbers and figured out a way to take advantage of the customer. I was commissioned by my in-laws to move a bunch of furniture to their new house and there I was filling up a 20-footer last night sitting in the cab as the pump was running. I was laser focused on not giving U-Haul a single drop over half-full. All I could think about was some U-Haul suit laughing at me for being stressed out.
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• Bruce in Decatur, Ill. asks: Did you check in to a tee time for Carb Day golf this year at Indy?
Kinsey: I did check last week for this Thursday (I’m off this Thursday) and it was completely booked. Today, I just looked and there’s a spot open for a single at 4:30. That’s it for Thursday and Friday. I need to set an alert to make sure I get a tee time next year.
– Tom in Tarpon Springs wasn’t impressed: Can we ban golf tournaments near Philly? What a bunch of get in the a–holes.
Kinsey: After returning the U-Haul, showering and finally settling in around 6 p.m. last night, I saw the final three holes and I believe it was muted. I just wanted some silence. Sorry, Tom, can’t help you on this one.
– Travel Ball Hardo Chris B. in Houston sent this one:
– Tom in Nashville emails me for some reason: Hope all is well and you’re still doing great work even after the corporate takeover. Are y’all (Big Js, now that you’re one of ‘em) running a pysop with the WNBA. Media blitz on this shitty product has going on for far too long, feels like mask mandates and two weeks to stop the spread.
Will one of y’all at least acknowledge it sucks and you’re posting about it for clicks and ad revenue? Oh yeah, Sophie Cunnignham is a f–ing smoke show: )
FOX NEWS SPORTS HUDDLE NEWSLETTER: THE CAITLIN CLARK EYE POKE AND SHOVE HEARD AROUND THE WORLD
Kinsey: Tom, I hate to break it to you, but everything you see on the Internet is for clicks and ad revenue. If I posted Instagram models that were Big Ten 3s, this column wouldn’t have much of an audience. The Internet was built on eliciting a reaction. I’m not a part of a WNBA team inside OutKick.
I know the analytics on Caitlin Clark. I know people will hate click on Angel Reese content when she’s grabbing 25 offensive rebounds off her missed shots. I know people will click on Sophie Cunningham content and I know men tend to be fascinated by the lesbian storyline playing out in Dallas, I think it is.
– Franz emails: “Where was I?” is proper English, not “Where was I at”?
Kinsey: I don’t care, Franz. This column wasn’t built on proper English. I write like I’d speak with you inside a bar. I write as if we’re on a golf course suckin’ down a dozen beers. Upon further research, a Franz by the same name comes up as a Canadian on LinkedIn, which tells me everything I need to know.
– Bo in AZ wonders: Joe, I realize it takes some time for yall to come out of hibernation. Been there. Probably still have snow up there. But I have not seen any mention of Yacht Rock Radio’s “Big Deck Energy” channel yet. It’s an antidote for the Reds May performance so far. Ribs and Coors Banquet on tap today. Pool is at 84. Smoothbrain libs and savages can KMA. God Bless America!
Kinsey: I had to do a search to figure out what Bo is talking about. It turns out he’s mentioning iHeartRadio’s Yacht Rock Channel. Bo, I have signed a free agent contract with Sirius and now I use the satellite provider’s Yacht Rock channel. No commercials.
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And that is it for this Monday morning as we all prepare for the official start of summer. Reminder: I’m FULLY off this Thursday. You have no idea how great it is to say those words.
Until then, let’s get after it.
