‘Nightcaps’ is a daily column that catches you up on the biggest sports, news and culture stories you may have missed while pretending to do work at your desk. It runs Monday–Friday on OutKick.com.
Hey, you … look alive! There’s college football on TV tonight. Actual college football. The real thing.
It’s here! Week 1 is here. Arkansas Pine-Bluff-Missouri doesn’t do it for you? Fine!
How about some Colorado-Georgia Tech?! Remember when Deion Sanders was all anyone could talk about for the first month of the season back in 2023?
We followed the Buffs like they were the Nick Saban-led Crimson Tide. If I remember correctly, we stayed up till 2 a.m. to watch them squeak out a triple-overtime win over Colorado State.
THE COLORADO BUFFALOES ARE ONCE AGAIN GETTING ROASTED ONLINE FOR LOOKING LIKE A POP WARNER TEAM
Perhaps that should’ve been our first sign that they weren’t very good. But still, what an incredible time in college football.
Tonight, another season kicks off. Let’s roll.
Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps — the one where Mets broadcaster (and Seinfeld star!) Keith Hernandez calls out the Tampa Bay Rays for being WOKE!
And he’s right.
What else? I’ve got Jena Sims debuting her new Chili’s dress, Ryan Reynolds saying, quite possibly, the dumbest thing on the internet today (that’s a HIGH bar to clear), and the big issue down here in Florida today?
Can Tiger Woods still drive a golf cart during his probation? Our great governor weighs in!
Grab you whatever the heck you need to get you through the next few hours before Week 1 officially kicks off, and settle in for a Thursday ‘Cap!
Look at that big, beautiful board. Welcome back, college football!
We’ve got Colorado-Georgia Tech tonight, and Miami-Stanford tomorrow as the two big appetizers before the weekend. I don’t know if anyone saw Stanford’s crowd last weekend for Week 0, but …
Lordy. The Hurricanes should win by a billion. I’d offer some analysis here but I have no clue which players are on which team at this point because college football is so upside down at the moment.
You know how LSU spent the day? In court, against the SEC, over recruiting NFL players. And they have a game against Clemson in two days!
What a time to be alive.
OK, let’s get this class started down here in Florida, where Tiger Woods recently entered a plea deal over his car crash earlier this year and had his license suspended for the next five years.
Probably not a bad move.
The big question? Will he still be allowed to drive golf carts?
He certainly should be, according to Ron DeSantis!
For those wondering, yes, Tiger will be allowed to drive a golf cart on the course over the next five years.
Per Florida law, as long you’re at least 18, you can operate a golf cart without a license. That applies to anyone, Tiger’s attorney, Thomas Bakkedahl, told the AP in an email.
Phew! Now we can all sleep tonight.
ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON’T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!
Look, obviously I’m making light of a serious situation involving Tiger. I grew up watching Woods every chance I could. He’s the reason I started watching golf. Watching him win the 2019 Masters is still one of my favorite sports memories of all time.
That being said, he’s an idiot who refuses to hire a driver, even though he knows how much of a loose cannon he can be. If he screws this up, I’m officially out.
Given his track record over the last 15 years, I’ll be holding my breath.
OK, for those of us who can drive, let’s cut across the state and head to St. Pete, where the Rays caught a stray from Mets announcer Keith Hernandez during yesterday’s game:
Do y’all remember when they were the Tampa Bay Devil Rays? Man. It was such a simpler time. I can’t believe they nixed the “devil” part of it because it was deemed too satanic a full decade after expansion.
I grew up watching some great Devil Rays teams …
And by that, I mean some of the worst baseball teams of my lifetime. But man, they had some ELITE names:
All players who were far past their primes, but still had just enough gas in the tank to make things interesting. Fun fact: Wade Boggs hit the first EVER home run in Devil Rays history!
Man, we had it so good. Peak time in sports history.
OK, let’s rapid-fire this Thursday class into a big Thursday night. First up? I’m not an ’80s kid, so this isn’t exactly my wheelhouse. I assume we have a ton of ’80s folks in class today, though, so I’m speaking directly to you …
Is Ryan Reynolds a moron?
“The 80s was a brutal, brutal time for people. It was a f—ing mess and people forget that. It was a tremendous strife. Socio political tensions everywhere. We were still pretty fresh off a Cuban missile crisis, which was only 15-20 years before.”
WHAT?! I was born in ’93, so I don’t have a leg to stand on here, but all I hear about the ’80s was how great they were. Never once, in my life, have I heard a single person say anything bad about the 1980s. Not one bad thing.
By the way, I’m the same way with the ’90s, so I get we can all be biased, but still.
There is just no way folks in the ’80s were still emotionally triggered by the Cuban Missile Crisis, which ended in — checks notes — 1962.
1962!
Hilarious. It’s amazing how dumb Hollywood elites are. They never, ever cease to amaze me.
Next? Let’s check in on my Red Sox, who STINK right now:
Yep. If that’s not the loudest F-bomb of all time, it has to be up there. I don’t know that I’ve heard a louder one, and I cover these things like the OJ trial. I LOVE a good F-bomb caught on a hot mic.
I can’t remember one with more violence behind it.
OK, that’s it for today. Good work, everyone. Let’s all go gamble on some college football tonight and start this season with a bang.
Take us home, Jena Sims!
“I Want My Baby Back, Baby Back, Baby Back Ribs.”
Were the 1980s ruined by the Cuban Missile Crisis? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
