As anticipated, there was no game on Saturday’s college football slate, as the Texas Longhorns made their trip to Knoxville to face the Tennessee Volunteers. Emotions were bound to be high, and with that often comes some big celebrations.
That said, no one was prepared for what some Longhorns had up their sleeves … and in their pants.
Of course, over-the-top celebrations are nothing new, but let’s see what the Longhorns were throwing down on Saturday.
Let’s start with junior edge rusher Colin Simmons, who hauled down a scrambling Faizon Brandon for a big, 16-yard loss deep in their own end of the field.
Hey, that’s a big play. Go ahead and do a little celebrating, big guy.
…Alright, maybe not that one.
That’s the kind of celebration you dust off to make your buddies laugh during a Thanksgiving Day pickup game in the backyard after a couple of Michelob Ultras. Not when you’re in the midst of a huge ranked matchup.
The celebration hurt the team — and not just from a reputational perspective — as Simmons was handed a penalty for “simulating using the restroom,” which meant that the sack resulted in just a single-yard loss.
Of course, social media went nuts.
And, as if this all wasn’t crazy enough, Jemele Hill, winner of the 2021 OutKick Woke All-Star Challenge, wrote something that made me laugh, and for the reason it was intended.
We give credit where it’s due around here.
Of course, Simmons apologized, but did so using possibly the worst phrasing given the situation.
We get what he meant…
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Well, at least that was the end of south-of-the-equator celebrations we got from the Longhorns on Saturday. It’s not like anyone trotted into the end zone for a game-winning touchdown, then popped their leg up like Captain Morgan, swiped their hand across their crotch, pretended to sniff it, and then passed out or anything. That would be insane.
… Wait, running back Raleek Brown did what?
If this is what they do in a stadium in front of thousands of people, what kind of celebrations are they doing elsewhere?!
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A moment like this meant that the admin for the DUDE Wipes X account sprang into action to do what they’d taken an oath to do.
I just can’t get over that both of those happened in the same game. You’d think after the first incident someone would’ve said, “Hey, fellas, let’s steer clear of any celebrations that might stray into the groin-al region.”
Nope.
Man, McConaughey is going to need to have a word with the team about this.
That’s not alright … alright, alright.
