Well, Miami Heat fans, you actually got a fixed-up Dwyane Wade statue before “Grand Theft Auto VI.”
Just barely, and note that before “GTA VI” started taking over your arena, but still…
You may recall that two years ago, the Heat unveiled a statue honoring franchise legend Dwyane Wade. It quickly went viral, and not because it belongs in the Louvre.
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At what point in human history did we stop making good statues? How did some dude with a chisel during the Renaissance make a perfect sculpture of a Greek god, but nailing the visage of an athlete — who we can all picture or you can physically look at a picture — is now hard?
We’ve seen it happen to Cristiano Ronaldo; Allen Iverson got one so small you could use it as a paperweight, and of course, there’s Wade’s.
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But now the Wade statue has gotten a refresh in the form of what the team calls “enhancements.”
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By “enhancements,” they mean it looks more like Wade than it used to, which it didn’t feel like at all.
What an improvement, although, truthfully, a kid with a box of Crayolas (64-count, with the sharpener; the good one) could have made some improvements on that original one.
It’s good they got that fixed, but it’s not like everyone’s mind is going to be wiped “Men in Black”-style so they forget the first abomination.
And, honestly, I think people are going to miss the original statue that was allegedly of Dwyane Wade.
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The new statue looks enough like Wade that it’s not funny, but not enough like him that it’s a masterpiece. You want to be in one of those spaces.
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Now, there’s nothing remarkable, good or bad, about it, and I think in a few years, people will be clamoring for that statue that looks as if D-Wade stumbled into the “Backrooms.”
