We have reached the point in the college football offseason where spring practices are coming to a close and depth charts are starting to take shape.
All the hard work these young men have put in this winter in the weight room and on the practice field is feeling like it’s starting to pay off, and many will end up on “freaks lists,” highlighting the physical progress they’ve made since camp started.
The Utah Utes have a tight end that may end up on several freaks lists, but perhaps not in the conventional manner.
When you think of a physically “freaky” tight end, you probably think of specimens like Gronk or Kyle Pitts.
These are tall and fast human beings that create mismatch nightmares all over the field thanks to their length and speed.
The Utes’ tight end falls on the opposite end of the freak spectrum, and you’ll have to see young man to believe him.
What an absolute unicorn!
There’s a lot to unpack here, but first and foremost, I think I need to make a quick call to the All-Name Team, because a 336lb wrecking ball with the name “Semi” feels so on-the-nose that I have to wonder if his parents have a crystal ball.
You can’t be named Semi and NOT be a freaking unit. I don’t make the rules, I just write about them.
Also, can we check this “kid’s” birth certificate? Because I refuse to believe that’s a freshman.
He runs with the anger of a resentful man in his 40s, jaded by life events that won’t happen to him for another decade.
They say “low man wins,” and if that’s the case, good luck stopping this guy.
At 5’11” and well over three bills, he has the center of gravity of Odd Job from the Goldeneye video game on the N64.
I can’t wait to see this dude in action, and it looks like I’m not alone.
As is often the case with big guys who dream of playing a skill position, our dear Semi will likely get moved to defensive tackle or interior offensive lineman, and that would be a travesty.
The NIL opportunities alone for this kid have to be off the chart if he is out here catching touchdown passes at Rice Eccles Stadium in the fall.
I’m sure Mack Trucks have been dying for a spokesperson with this kind of aura, so let’s make it happen.
I will be keeping a close eye on the Utes this season, and praying for any poor, unfortunate soul of a free safety that gets matched up on Semi this year.
Bring your own ice bath to Salt Lake City, boys.
