It’s Saturday, which means it’s time to catch up on all of the news you may have missed this week with a little help from The Punch-Up!
And what a week it was…
We had a record-breaking team sale, a wild revelation about a certain Jedi knight, and one original Happy Days cast member just shot their first nude scene.
Yes, I know what year it is.
There’s plenty more where all of that came from, so let’s dig right on in!
Iron Maiden has announced that they will not attend the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony because they will be on tour in Australia and New Zealand. “Oh, yeah; we’re going to be on tour that day too,” said every other inductee.
The San Diego Padres have been sold for a record-setting $3.9 billion. It’s the most anyone has ever paid just to lose to the Dodgers.
Nutella has announced its first new flavor in ages, and it’s peanut. They’ve been workshopping names, but are leaning toward “peanut butter.”
Switzerland’s men’s hockey coach has admitted to faking his COVID vaccination status so he could coach at the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing. The Chinese government responded by saying that it was nice to have someone doing whatever it took to get into the country for a change.
Bigfoot was recently spotted three times in Ontario, Canada. So, in Ontario, Sasquatch is easier to see than a Toronto Maple Leafs playoff game.
Rosie O’Donnell addressed rumors that she will appear on an upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars, despite pledging not to return to the US while Trump is in office. She said it’s not happening, seeing as she’s not a star even by the series’ exceedingly low standards.
Actor Mark Hamill has floated the idea that Luke Skywalker is actually gay. If that’s the case, “bullseyeing womp rats in my T-16” may not have meant what we all thought it did.
Got all of that?
Good. See you back here next week.
