Whew. Final Hump Day of April. Can you believe it? What a month. We started it with March Madness. We had The Masters. We had the start of baseball season. The NFL Draft. Dianna Russini. Trump was nearly assassinated for the billionth time.
Hell, even OutKick looked different at the beginning of the month. Look at us now! And you all love it!
Yes, I know. There are some complaints. I’ve heard you. I’ve passed the messages on. They’re working on it. I promise. These things are jarring at first. It takes me twice as long to put this class together now. Brutal stuff.
But, we’re getting there. Hang with us. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Summer is nearly here.
Let’s roll.
Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps — the one where Anna Paulina Luna sends Big Brother a NASTY message for a disgusting new law. You’ll see.
What else? I’ve got a monster fan fight in Texas, ABS doing the Lord’s work in Cincinnati, and Apple TV’s baseball girl, Tricia Whitaker, turning out to be the coolest college professor this side of the Mississippi. Whatever that means.
Oh yeah! Dale Earnhardt would’ve turned 75 today. We’ll obviously pay our respects because that’s what patriots do.
OK, grab you two beers today in honor of Dale, and settle in for a Hump Day ‘Cap!
Two beer? No beer!
That story never gets old. I shared it a few months back during Daytona 500 week, but we have some new faces in class nowadays, so I’m going back to the well.
Anyway, Dale would’ve turned 75 today. It’s been 25 years since he died, which is still wild to think about. I often wonder what in the world he’d think about today’s version of NASCAR.
I just can’t imagine the things he’d say… and then probably get canceled for. What a legend.
Those were the days.
OK, let’s go ahead and get this class going. It’s a Hump Day, after all. I’ve got another gator on the hook outside, so I’ve got things to go.
Speaking of driving cars… let’s check in with how OutKick fan-favorite Anna Paulina Luna likes the DISGUSTING new bill that will put the robots straight inside our cars:
What a FIGHT!
Get ’em, Anna Paulina Luna! I’ve been on the APL bandwagon for two years now, and she keeps proving me right.
For those who don’t know, that’s a real law that passed. Like, it’s happening. It’s coming for us. Frankly, it’s already here.
Yes, it’s a good thing to get drunk drivers off the road. Duh. Nobody is arguing that. But this is incredible government overreach, right? It also makes me wonder about the future of car companies.
For starters, they’re already in trouble with Tesla — and other self-driving cars. Those are the future, like it or not. I don’t know how dealerships survive the next 10 years.
And now you have AI controlling the dashboards and watching over you all the time in every new model, beginning next year? If you thought old cars were valuable now, just wait.
I may be able to retire if I hang on to my 2013 F-150 long enough!
Thanks for trying, Anna Paulina. It’s all we ask.
OK, let’s beat the crap out of each other and move this class along!
Tricia, ABS & streamer get pulverized
If Star Wars taught us anything, it’s that you’re NEVER going to win a battle if you don’t have the high ground. That’s Fighting 101. Chirping at someone from the bleachers a row down is a suicide mission.
And how about the guy with the plastic bat? Didn’t see that one coming. Credit to this Yankees fan for having the stones to get back up after that, though. I’d probably just act dead. Stay down, avoid the inevitable cameras, pray to God they didn’t get my face.
Instead, he just gets back up, still at a major disadvantage, and goes back in for seconds. What a move. Insane.
OK, let’s rapid-fire this Hump Day class into a big Hump Day night. First up? I will be the first to admit, I think I was wrong about the ABS stuff:
I was worried about ABS during spring training, mainly because the players just constantly used it. I’m talking four or five times in an INNING. Clearly, that was just preseason stuff, because they’ve been far more selective during the season. I’m good with it.
I also underestimated moments like THAT. I didn’t anticipate the fans getting into it quite like this. Boring game. No drama. 7-2 in the ninth. Normally, we’d all be half asleep. But not in the world of ABS. What else is going to create real drama like that in a meaningless baseball game in April?
Great move, MLB. I take it back. I’m all in.
Next? Let’s stick with the baseball and beer theme to end class:
Could you imagine signing up for a course, and walking into class and seeing Tricia Whitaker as your professor? My God. Is Indiana firing on all cylinders right now, or what? Perhaps journalism isn’t dead after all!
P.S.: Tricia is a star. Remember where you met her first last year.
As always, we were ahead of the trends.
OK, that’s it for today. Good Hump Day. Good end to the month. Here’s video of a streamer getting absolutely demolished while walking on the side of the road for charity.
He’s fine, by the way. Somehow.
See you tomorrow.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
What would Dale say about today’s NASCAR? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
