See how easy this is, Bud Light? This could’ve been you. I have no idea if Olivia Dunne actually sucks down Miller Lites at baseball games or just holds them as props. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that Miller Lite, right now, is getting the American Eagle treatment. These brands are playing with house money because they’ve decided to hire attractive, biological females to market their products.
The woke era — approximately 2018-2024 (when Trump was elected) — will be remembered by marketing agencies who thought trans in sports and trans/DEI marketing was a winning strategy. It was a disaster. Axios published a report in 2023 estimating woke had cost companies at least $28 billion in market value.
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Now here we are with the pivot back to attractive women having a good time, even if they’re fake suckin’ down an American beer. The imagery isn’t lost on those of us with a brain. We might hate Miller Lite beer, but the emotions created here are appreciated. It makes a segment of society feel alive again.
Meanwhile, over on Bud Light’s Instagram account, the brand has not featured an image or video of a female celebrity in over a year. No Instagram models. No Livvy Dunne types. I’m serious. You can go look. The last time a female celebrity appeared on the account was April 29, 2025.
Instead, we’ve had Post Malone, Peyton Manning and Shane Gillis shoved down our throats the last year. Guys, this isn’t hard. Mix in some attractive women, for the love of God. Your marketing department can’t be this bad. Seriously, email me. I will help.
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Ready or not, here we go with two seasons close to my heart. Tonight, in Bowling Green, Ohio, we get the rec baseball season officially started. I will have my No. 1 on the mound. Based on the rules, he’s allowed to go three full innings. Relax, the way he throws, I’d be surprised if he touches 60 pitches.
MLB says kids at these ages shouldn’t throw more than 95 pitches in a day. That number is crazy. MLB managers won’t let many of their own starters, grown men in their mid-20s, throw that many in games.
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I’m still missing my hammer, the big Indian kid (from India) with the unorthodox swing that results in incredible exit velocity. Yes, I’m starting to use modern baseball language. I grew up hearing dads say that kid can hit the s––t out of a ball. I still say it under my breath, but I’ll exit velocity so the analytics nerds know what I’m talking about.
How are the emotions? I’m filled with anticipation just like when I’d play high school baseball. I still have the drive where I want to play baseball the right way and choke out the other team. Not physically. In a figurative way. At night, I go to bed dreaming of 1-2-3 innings followed by us scoring six runs in our at-bat. I’m talking just absolute backbreaker innings.
But, before baseball, I have to mow the lawn as part of my work duties. If I’m going to run a mowing league, you damn well better believe I have to mow my own lawn and then hold a post-mow press conference.
– Chris A. emails: I second your call for new homeowners to get the patio space squared away pronto. My dad and I built a 16×12 screened in back porch soon after we moved into our current house 30 years ago. It is heaven. The screen keeps out the bugs while the ceiling fan brings in the breeze. I just had it updated with a covered ceiling and new lights and post coverings and couldn’t be happier. I also had a front porch built onto my house a couple of years ago, and I wish I had done it sooner but couldn’t due to lack of funds. I watch the sunrise from the back porch and the sunset from the front, and it never gets old.
One way to get some trees in the yard is to buy a live tree at Christmas and plant it in the yard after the decorations are put away. I planted eight of them over the years when I was young enough to haul those heavy SOBs out of the house and get them in the ground (pro tip: dig the hole before Christmas when the ground isn’t frozen). Some have died years later but the remainders are healthy and provide some nice filtered shade.
– Keith W. agrees: You are absolutely 100% correct about patios and how important an outdoor space is. I hope the younger generation takes your advice… 100% spot on about everything right down to planting trees now for the future. I have a place in east TN by the Smokies we offer on airbnb now, but someday it’ll be something I can enjoy myself more often. I can’t wait to sit on the deck up high in the trees looking over the mountain view for hours and days on end.
– Tyler V. weighs in: I personally don’t like them. My wife’s car has the option to flip a switch on the rearview mirror to switch to a rear-facing camera in case the back of her SUV is filled up and we can’t see out the back. But using the camera view, and I know this sounds odd, gives me motion sickness so I don’t use it.
– Brandon C. in Pinckney, MI was offended: I have to object to Harvey D’s posting in today’s (wed) screen caps. As a former resident of the Dayton metroplex (Troy OH– Hobart Arena for the win), there is no way on God’s green earth that Beavercreek can be called “Beavertucky”. With all the building and high end defense contractor families in that area living in McMansion developments near Fairfield Commons mall, Beavercreek is more like a DC suburb than a “-tucky”. Huber Heights, Vandalia, Fairborn, sure. But I have to call a hard “nope” on Beavercreek.
The only -tucky thing about Beavercreek is good ol’ Kings Table bar, home of the $1 grilled cheese and tater tot lunch special, but even that gets taken over at times by post millennials. We need to maintain standards else the naming convention means nothing.
Plus if he’s shopping at the home Depot I think he is, off of Col Glenn Rd, that’s in Fairborn proper, not Beavercreek. Party foul.
Kinsey: My childhood friend and baseball teammate is the chief of police in Beavercreek. One city over, another of our teammates is the chief of police in Centerville. Meanwhile, I ended up writing about woke Bud Light and running a mowing league. Some of us were put here to patrol the streets while others were put here to patrol the Internet.
– Dave D. writes: Been a while it’s been a while, due to the fact that I finished my 5th cross country trip in the last 6 weeks. In the full four months of 2026 I’ve logged 98K real miles on Delta and will push toward the elusive (for me) 200K miles for the year. I bring this up not to revive the topic I’ve seen on SCs, but to iterate the class of travelers I see seemingly every week.
I saw a 12-14 year old kid w/his mom at a layover in Atlanta last week who swear to God was wearing a onesie PJ ensemble, w/slippers and bathrobe. I wanted to take a picture but was worried that his Kentucky holler mom would start yelling pedo, so I refrained (she was wearing sweats, tattered t-shirt, and crocs). Unfortunately, while this was on the extreme side I see this all the time. Now full disclosure, I lost my right leg in a job site accident in Montana 19-years ago, and traditionally travel in shorts (even when it’s sub zero) because it’s the best way to have the GED level TSA agents see the reason I’m setting off alarms and it avoids a full me dropping trou and going through a full-body cavity search.
The difference is I wear nice shorts, nice shirt, and nice sneakers, and don’t treat the airport/airplane like my personal boudoir. Last but not least, the amount of people showing up in wheelchairs to fly cross country is mind boggling! I see lines of relatively healthy looking people being pushed to the gate and down to the airplane where they get off and seem to be completely ambulatory for the rest of the flight and when we deplane they appear to have had a miraculous experience and are walking like everyone else. Yet, this 69-year old travels w/a carry on and a backpack that has my laptop and my spare leg sticking out the top (always bring a spare cause I can’t risk a blowout in east BF northern PA) and would retire or quit flying if I ever had to be pushed anywhere – the leg on the left is my “spare” Anyway, rant over – have a great day Joe.
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That is it this morning. The sun is peaking out for opening day. The lawn is drying out. We’re going to play ball and mow. Mother Nature knows today is important for the spirit. I might even have a beer later tonight on the patio after returning home from baseball.
Let’s go have another incredible day of life and finish off this month strong. Go dominate the day.
