Let’s get Thursday Screencaps cranking with the latest DoorDash financial numbers that continue to boggle my mind. Americans, in huge numbers, are showing absolutely no sign of weakness when it comes to having some random person deliver Olive Garden to their apartment doors.
In January, the New York Times ran a story where they profiled a couple that spends $700 a week to order food delivery. “I am so burned out and tired, I would rather just throw my credit card at the problem and delay that unhappiness until the bill comes,” the guy said. The Times noted that this guy’s son can’t read, but he can “put together an order” on the Chick-fil-A app. “I am impressed, but I am also terrified,” the dad noted.
What the hell are we doing? Are we really this lazy? I have heard from the salesmen who are on the road and just want food delivered to their hotels so they don’t have to go to restaurants. I get it. Maybe you broke both of your legs in a skiing accident and you are craving Texas Roadhouse that’s been sitting in some dope smoker’s car for 25 minutes. I get it. Not really, but I understand you’re in a tough spot.
Folks, we are trending towards 1 BILLION orders being delivered by DoorDash in the next quarter. Look at that incredible jump from Q3 2025 to Q4 2025. No way it could go higher, right? Wrong. When America is put to a challenge, we step up and DOMINATE.
STOP THE INSANITY 2.0: ’90S ICON SUSAN POWTER’S TECH COMEBACK
Never underestimate Americans and their will to sit their asses at home to eat Chinese takeout.
Our queen made major news on Instagram Wednesday night by announcing a brand partnership with a nicotine pouch company that will have Charley playing in some virtual golf tournament in October. You might remember Hull from her days hammering cigs at golf tournaments back in like 2024.
Then, she made some bet that she’d never smoke again. From everything I can tell, she hasn’t gone back to cigs, but based on this new brand partnership, our queen might like to stuff a nicotine pouch in her lip. She’s reinventing the game.
NEW YORK MAGAZINE WRITER WANTS TO BRING BACK SMOKING FOR VERY NIHILISTIC REASONS
Lippin’ Charly Hull just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Anyone have new nickname suggestions? joe.kinsey@outkick.com
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– Mike N. in Texas shares: Our oldest son just graduated in the 150th class of Texas A&M. The ceremony opened with the National Anthem and then a prayer. God Bless Texas A&M, God Bless the USA. Here’s to the greatest column in the land!
– Legacy Screencaps reader Sean K. wanted to say: Just wanted to pass along big props to Doug and his wife for the long-term care they’ve given their son Joey. I know a few people who have so dedicated their lives this way to their special needs children and/or other family members and they have told me the same; the light that comes on in their loved one’s eyes is what makes it all worth it.
His email reminded me of a news clip from years ago where a newly graduated Marine in dress blues visited his sister at their high school gym who had cerebral palsy. She was so excited to see him she nearly fell out of her wheelchair. (Wish I could find that clip). You could just feel the love she had for him and he for her through the TV screen.
Best to them and keep it up. Still getting used to the new ‘Fox’ format but the content is 100% the same. And I read it every day to keep sane. Thanks as always for what you do.
– Jon in Iowa was stopped in his tracks by Doug’s story: Had to respond after reading this morning’s Screencaps. Doug’s story choked me up. I did not have to deal with such hard things with my children and I can’t imagine what he and his family went through. I do know that people like Doug and family are what you called the backbone of this country.
I don’t want to make this about me, but I am just starting to deal with something with my wife. Not going into details, but I know what is ahead. So far I can still get out to go golfing and she can still get on the plane couple times a year to get to Arizona for the winter. Doug needs to know he is an inspiration. I know that we are very fortunate to have had the lives we’ve had.
Doug’s life made me think about people in this video. Imagine how pathetic your life is that you would act like this with your wife and daughter. Have people like this ever done anything that was hard. Or dealt with any kind of adversity. Doubt it.
Thankfully half the country still believes in the values that made us great. Have to keep believing in that half to prevail. Thanks for your story Doug.
– Mark T. in Florida says: Props to Doug in Mason for Doing Hard Things, parenting never stops. Stories like that keep me going and make me appreciative for the good fortune and blessings I have.
– Tom T. checks in on Doug’s story and then pivots to complimenting me: I thank God all of the time for the blessings in my humble life. May God bless Joe (Doug’s son) and his whole family. Adversity brings out our best, and Joe is a GREAT man and father.
– Marty in Idaho emails: About 7 AM Monday while I’m waiting for Screencaps to publish, an unknown car pulls into my rural Idaho driveway. My daughter and 7 month old grandson are in the kitchen with me. I step outside toward the car and the unknown driver gets out of the car and says, “I need help”. He’s young (30?), doesn’t seem to be in distress and his car seems fine. He goes on to say that he found a dog wandering on the road so he stopped and put it in his car which I have no way to confirm (so he pulls into a random driveway with a 90ish pound husky in his passenger seat with no collar?).
None of this seems right to me. I look at the dog and don’t recognize it so I’m expecting the guy to get back in his car and drive away. About this time my daughter walks out and suggests I take a photo of the dog and send it to our neighbor text group. Good idea assuming everything is legit. The guy says he’s going to be late for work and wants me to take the dog.
That’s a no go for me (for all I know it’s his dog) but my daughter speaks up and says she’ll take it. I am not happy with my daughter at this point who insists we take this enormous dog (apparently I was rude to this guy). She gets the dog out of the car and I immediately take it to animal rescue. While waiting at animal rescue I text the photo and one of the neighbors thinks the dog might belong to a guy about a mile away from our house. I take the dog there and it is his; happy ending.I’ve been berated by my daughter and my wife (who was sleeping) for overreacting and being rude for two days now.
I explain that when the situation looks off, your guard should be up. This time it turned out OK but what if this guy had other intentions (or just wanted to get rid of his dog)? Did I overreact in this situation?
– Gerard puts things into perspective for me: Track meets can be long cold and windy but those 4.5 hours are way less time consuming and expensive compared to any travel sport. Be grateful he is in track and not travel baseball or basketball!! You will have every weekend free and will be able to afford real vacations. He may even be fast enough to get preferred admission into the college of his choice down the road……..
– Brandon from N. Kentucky writes: I could not agree with your mom about the length of these track meets. We encouraged our daughter to do something other than competition dance (that’s another racket). She is doing track because her friends are. I had never been to a track meet before her 1st one in march. We were told to be there by 4pm. She had ONE event and it didn’t go off until 930pm. Thankfully it was a Friday but last week was more of the same. She was in 3 events, got there by 3:45pm, and her first event didn’t go off until 7:20pm on a Wednesday night!!! She was done early I might add. This is to much on a school night.
– Chris A. also adds some life perspective: I hear you about track meets. I ran track (sprints and long jump) for a CYO team from 12-15 years old, and it was all day Saturday meets in April and May. 8 hours minimum. My parents maybe went to one or two meets during that four years, and I couldn’t blame them. So many events, so many age groups. At least the long distance events were one heat, but with four age groups times two genders, that’s an hour right there. Brutal if you aren’t participating.
How about the sub-2 hour marathons run in London a couple of weeks ago? You said your son’s best mile time is 5:40 (so far). My best, and only, timed mile was 5:20 when I was 15. These guys are running 4:35 miles for 26+ miles! 64-second quarter miles, 108 of them in a row! I can’t fathom that. Don’t care if it’s the shoes, someone’s feet still have to be in them. That’s right up there with breaking the 4 minute mile barrier.
Kinsey: I don’t have the numbers in front of me, but Screencaps Jr.’s PR is somewhere in the mid-5:30s right now. I’m thinking 5:36. He’s 13. Google says that’s pretty good at that age. You know what? He’s eating well, running good times, packing on muscle, can handle himself in a room full of people and has been ordering his own meals at restaurants for years. Mrs. Screencaps and I count our blessings. Trust me.
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And with that, we’re ready to go for another day of life. The sun is as bright as it has been this spring. I plan on taking a quick stroll through the yard with Mrs. Screencaps at lunch. We need to build a plan of attack for Mother’s Day weekend. Projects need completed.
But, first, let’s go put in a day of work. Go get after it.
