There’s really nothing better than firing up a grill and having a nice barbecue, but few things are as enraging as getting ready to cook and realizing something is missing.
For me, that usually means I totally forgot to check the propane gauge beforehand.
But in one Canadian outdoor cook’s case, someone burgled all of his grub… and that someone turned out to have paws… four of them.
According to the Alberta RCMP, officers were alerted to a “theft involving BBQ goods.”
Credit to the boys in blue (actually, I think it’s red up there) for showing up, because it would’ve been pretty easy to say, “Just go to the grocery and pick up some new BBQ goods.”
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Upon arrival, police realized that they needed to be on the lookout for a suspect described as “having red hair, being short in stature, and wearing a thick coat.”
Eventually, they located the culprit in the act.
This is like the animal kingdom’s version of the sketch from “I Think You Should Leave,” where Tim Robinson is dressed like a hot dog after a wienermobile crashes through the wall of a clothing store.
It doesn’t take a grizzled detective to solve this crime. Foxes don’t just wind up with hot dogs out in the wild (although I’ve never been to Canada, so it might be different up there).
That li’l fella wasn’t doing fox-kind’s reputation any good. I feel like they might be in the running for nature’s biggest kleptomaniacs. I think I’d put foxes in second, just ahead of seagulls but behind raccoons.
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You’ve got to give the edge to raccoon. They’re wearing little burglar masks.
The Canadian authorities said that “the suspect was released without conditions — and a full belly,” which is very cool of them, but now a fox is prowling the wilds of Alberta with a taste for Nathan’s hot dogs.
I wouldn’t have let them keep the dogs.
I’m not proud of it, but part of me would want to just rinse off the wieners so I didn’t have to make a Walmart run.
