It’s been a long week, but not long enough too keep me from filing another True Romance. I always have the energy, even if some weeks require more coffee than others, for our weekly strolls through the sometimes complicated world of romance.
If a 67-year-old on Tinder has enough energy to look for a sugar baby and to get arrested on charges related to allegedly getting upset when his date called her friends to pick her up, I should be able to sit down and handle my responsibilities.
What a time to be alive. You don’t have to give up on romance in your 60s. You don’t have to give up on romance in your 70s and beyond either.
ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON’T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!
We have a 75-year-old getting busted for allegedly getting on with a 32-year-old woman at an apartment complex pool over the weekend to thank for that knowledge. That’s not the only lesson these two have for us this week.
It turns out this week is full of lessons. From poolside hookups to the magic of shooting your shot with your crush, there’s a lot to learn. We’re going to get started with the confession of a babysitter.
The lesson here is to always pay the babysitter, especially when your husband is always on business trips, and you’re fooling around behind his back. Paying what you owe is the least you can do.
I can’t get started without mentioning the biggest offseason love story in the NFL. No, not the Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce story. I still say if they don’t have any children that it was all a show.
I’m talking about the engagement of Justin Herbert and Madison Beer, of course. Congratulations to the two of them. That’s a real love story.
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I suppose the easiest solution to not getting caught cheating would be to not cheat in the first place. Since that’s out of the question for some, another approach might be to make sure that you stay on the good side of any witnesses to your infidelities.
Let’s say you have a babysitter, for instance, who watches the kids while you’re out running around behind your husband’s back. The very least you could do is pay her more when you run late. I’d toss a healthy tip on top of that, but you play with as much fire as you want.
Because that’s exactly what you’re doing by coming home late and not paying them what you owe. The babysitter can ruin your “having cake and eating it too” situation at any time.
This confession from a babysitter who did just that should serve as a lesson to those of you who think the babysitter isn’t going to say anything and that you can keep ignoring the fact that you’re shorting them.
“I used to babysit for a couple whose husband was always away on business trips. The wife was cheating and constantly came home late, completely ignoring my extra hours and refusing to pay me,” the babysitter wrote on Reddit.
“The final straw was when she was three hours late and stiffed me on the spot again. The very next time her side guy came over, I snapped a clear picture of them together.”
See. This is exactly why you don’t play around with witnesses. You either have none or take care of the ones who you do have. The babysitter took that picture and fired off a marriage ending text to her husband.
The text message read, “Since I’m not getting paid, thought you should see what she’s busy doing.”
All that had to be done was to pay for the extra time the babysitter spent at your house watching your kids while your husband was out of town. That’s it. Since that’s the approach that was taken, other methods were used.
“Their marriage ended shortly after, and I consider my debt fully settled,” added the babysitter.
Let me say this before I get emails falsely claiming this babysitter is anti-romance. I’d say that was the case if she was fully compensated for her time and started making demands for her silence.
I don’t see any indication of that whatsoever.
It appears to me, she was more than willing to mind her own business and leave romance in the hands of those pursuing it.
The wife got too caught up in the pursuit and didn’t take time to make sure everything was handled properly. It cost her marriage, but let’s hope it didn’t cost her a shot at love.
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Now to Waco, Texas, where police arrested a 75-year-old man and a 32-year-old woman on charges of public lewdness, reports KWTX.
These two, like the cheating wife stiffing her babysitter, got too caught up in the pursuit of romance, allegedly. It took place at an apartment complex pool around 5 p.m. on Sunday.
Officers were called to investigate reports of indecent exposure. Multiple witnesses had called alleging that the 43-year, age gap couple were having sex and there were children present.
The witnesses interviewed told officers that they were in the back corner of the pool and that the woman was allegedly on top of the man “grinding and thrusting” while moaning loudly.
The 75-year-old man admitted that the much younger woman was on top of him, but claimed they weren’t having sex because he has a “penile implant.” He did, however, admit that there was sexual contact.
They were both arrested on charges of public lewdness and later released on bond. Obviously, the lesson here is to keep whatever they were doing in the pool inside.
Kids don’t need to see that, and I’m going to take a wild guess and say there aren’t many adults who want to see either, let alone in the pool.
I know what you’re thinking. This has been one bad ending after another, minus the Herbert and Beer engagement. We usually try not to get too high or too low around here. Well, you’re partially correct.
It is true, we do try to end somewhere in the middle, every week. Not too high and not too low. Where you’re getting it incorrect is that we’re in a nosedive up to this point. We’ve learned a few lessons along the way.
That’s always worth a few extra bonus points. Not to mention there are aspects of the pool story, especially when it comes to the pursuit of romance not ending at 75, that helps keep us from getting too low.
The NFL love story is a parachute on the nosedive too. By the time we make it through this portion of the day’s activities, I think we’ll be right where we need to be.
Here are a few stories from Reddit of the overwhelming good, bad, and ugly of shooting your shot with your crush. Grab a tissue, these are what it’s all about:
– Kevin writes:
For any tale involving an STD: Burning Love by Elvis Presley
– Deep in the Heart of Texas writes:
Sean,
I was going to give your readers a break from me this week, but I realized that you are working overtime filling in for Joe on Screencaps this week. We really appreciate that, so here is a little help for True Romance this week . . .
A Little Too Late (to Do the Right Thing Now) by Tanya Tucker is another song that fits True Romance perfectly. There isn’t a good original video to go with this song, but you can pick from two grainy live performances:
Interestingly, I’ve used this phrase “a little to late to do the right thing now” as a mantra to coach work teams to avoiding poor decisions that lead to bigger problems.
When it comes to avoid saying the wrong things that lead to bad things, I use an old friend’s mantra “You can’t un-ring a bell.”
Have a great week and get back to prioritizing summer as soon as things slow down for you.
SeanJo
Thanks for reaching out. It has been a busy week and these song-of-the-week suggestions are appreciated. “A Little Too Late (to Do the Right Thing Now)” fits the theme this week perfectly.
Kevin, I’ll keep the Elvis song in mind should romance take us there.
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That is all for this week. You can reach me, anonymously if you prefer, at sean.joseph@outkick.com. Send me whatever you want and keep the song suggestions coming.
