When you’ve met the person of your dreams and you’re ready to tie the knot and live happily ever after, you’ve probably covered the big things. Like, you’ve most likely talked about whether or not you want kids, where you want to live and how you’ll afford that life. But relationship expert April Masini says these are probably some important conversations you haven’t had with your fiancé yet, because you didn’t know how important they were.
- What place your exes have in your lives – Just because you’re getting married doesn’t mean your close friendship with your ex isn’t a big deal to your fiancé. You might have been friends for years, but your life partner could still feel threatened. So don’t assume anything and talk about your exes if they’re in your lives.
- How you’ll divide household labor – A marriage is only part romance, and there’s lots of hard work, too – some of it is housework. So figure out how things work best for your life together. Masini says you only have so much time, energy, space, and money to deal with, and the way you use it is crucial to your happiness. You’re probably not going to split everything fairly right down the middle – just do what feels like a good balance to you both.
- How your in-laws are included in your marriage – You might think that time with family will sort itself out, but you’d be wrong. “In-laws can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back — and the camel in this case, is the marriage,” says Masini. “That’s why it’s important to strategize about how to deal with in-laws before the marriage.” Figure out how to alternate holidays with each of your family’s or how to trade off so you’re both happy and your folks are as well.
- What’s on your bucket list – If your life-long dream is to sell all your stuff to become a cross-country trucker, you should probably tell your fiancé about this goal early on. Don’t wait until you’re hitched to share surprises with your sweetie. They want to support your dreams, but you can’t blindside them.